…blue rainbows

…ive been really working on positive thinking- ive even deleted almost all of my social medias; as comparing lives to that of my own became a disease of its own-

but even still, my rainbows seem blue- oh father, why do they still seem blue? am I allowed a green or even a pretty purple?

my beautiful boy has kicked the fourth door down- four collapses of failed motherhood- four reasons to question where ive gone wrong- did i extend too much love? is there such a thing? how do i save my sweet boy? how do i save me too? tho i am willing to sacrifice my sanity for the rescue of his- selah.

but in the now of now, my rainbows are still blue- oh father, i promise they’re blue- can you reveal to me a yellow, or even a red of love-

anything but blue-

anything-

i am trying.

kb