…continuously

…it’s 11:04pm

and there’s a war occurring 

between sleep and sacrifice-

between peace and insomnia-

between endurance 

and waving the white flag of life-

between the faith of tomorrow

and the failing beliefs of today-

its 11:14pm

that’s 10 minutes of survival-

from 10 minutes of mental war-

from 10 minutes of internal screaming-

while laying mute and still-

that’s 10 minutes of anger with God-

that’s 10 minutes of forgiveness-

and 10 minutes of praying-

hoping that he understands-

i am hurting-

i am scared.

its 11:22pm

i am rolling my eyes in secret-

i mustn’t let him see-

but he’s been screaming all day 

but he’s been screaming all evening-

and i have given my calm-

and i have been his peace-

so why can’t I have the in-between.

i just wanna fckn’ watch netflix-

damn.

its 11:26pm

i am begging my soul 

to remember the symphonies of silence-

to last a little while longer-

that the meltdowns shall rest-

that he shall rest soon too-

but my eyes are drifting-

but my mind is tired-

but my soul is numb-

but i love him-

continuously-

🫶🏾 ;

kb