…remain

…i am angry but i remain-

massive unbearable pain, but im here-

are you capable of abandoning?

is this what you’ve done?

left me father?

i was told to remain-

to stand in faith-

so i do… i guess 😞

but i begin to question if anyone’s even there-

remain for what?

for who? 😞

i am hurting father-

but the brilliance of earth & human design says you are you-

says you exist-

that you are the beginning and end-

so i remain-

but today was hard-

did you see me survive it?

did you feel my cling to you?

did you hold me too?

when is my celebration father?

do i not get one?

am i the one abandoning you?

is my worship lacking?

are you angry with me, yet still remain?

forgive me father-

but embrace me tighter-

love me louder-

i am fragile, and slowly shattering-

do you see it?

stand beside me tonight as i sleep, and heal me as i know you can-

write my life with the ink of you-

end my tribulation father-

show me your world.

place my feet upon the blue waters you told to become and they became-

please, …i am tired.

i am so tired-

but…

even if there are months and years to go- 😞

even if i barely survive them-

ill remain-

ill remain-

still…

i love you abba.

kb 😞❤️