…depleted
…never feel guilty when you need to step away and tend to self- never feel guilty when you need to place boundaries over your peace- and never feel guilty when your social battery is depleted and you need time to refill-
i definitely tuck myself away alot, but every soul handles depression and life itself differently- sometimes my entire battery goes to simply surviving thru a day- from battling suicidal ideation, self hair pulling, dire body pain, intrusive thoughts, a screaming asd son, etc-
so sometimes when he’s quiet or i have a peaceful moment, i put my phone on dnd, because in that moment im truthfully speaking words of continuance, faith, strength, etc- and even sometimes… screaming out loud from sensory overload from accidentally touching (carpet, the inside of cereal boxes, wood, etc); massively burnt out-
so sometimes simply responding to a text is alot- but i do, even at times falsifying a laughing emoji, so peace is extended to the reaching soul, in knowing im here- but sometimes im looking at a ringing phone like 😳👀🤦🏾♀️- honest truth- smiling; but “please” never take it personally- ever.
i think the saddest, most unfair part in being an adult on the spectrum; is when you look the part of society’s version of neurotypical, people tend to set aside or even forget the other unique and challenging aspects of you, altogether-
i can do phone calls, but not lengthy ones, and not a lot- i can do visits, but not long ones, and not too often- we must stop stripping compassion to what we may not always understand- as sometimes we simply need to be assured we are loved, and nothing more-
God knows my truth-
and not everyone will understand this,
but there’s always so very many that do-
-i am safe.
-you are loved also.
-kb. 🌺
