…at this very moment

…im so sad-

my body is in chronic pain-

and im so angry with myself for allowing my health to decline over the years-

i just feel so hopeless-

so broken beyond repair, and I don’t know how to find that starting place-

when you’ve used certain vices your entire life as a means of healing, finding a new route feels like being asked to walk to china in flats, with a gallon of water, and $20 for the necessities; …from ohio-

i desperately would love the woman in me to know and feel love one day, but I need to love her first- and that is my greatest challenge-

even sitting still im in horrific pain- my left hip is bone on bone, and my autoimmune is the worst at times- how do i exercise when im already in aggressive pain doing nothing???

at this very moment,

im so sad-

i must find my strength.

kb 😔